This cost $18, so it stays. Sorry.

I recently got a very rude email about this song from some woman who (a) considered herself somewhat of an expert on the blues and (b) actually believed I might possibly care about her ramblings. She asked me if I had ever listened to Robert Johnson. Actually, I think she asked if I even knew who he was …

She basically said that “If I Was Sober (I’d Go Get Drunk)” was fake blues, because (a) I can’t play blues guitar (b) it is a silly song and (c) … I forget … To all of this I wish to respond … normally, I take criticism with a grain of salt: I have no false modesty about my work; I know what I put into it, even songs like this. But sometimes, no. Make that always, it is the duty of the artist to confront such egregious asininity head-on.

Dear Ms. No-Boundaries:

Of course the song IS silly; there are thousands of silly blues songs. I mean, read the damn title for Christ’s sake.

What do you mean I can’t play blues guitar? You mean like, say, Eric Clapton? Well no, but I play from the heart and this song comes from real-life hurt (I still remember how it felt when I figured out what that girl was up to! Luckily I was still drinking and that helped a lot.) and therefore it is a real blues song, dumb ass.

And lastly, as some old blues guy said if it hasn’t been hocked, it can’t play the blues. Well, if that is the criteria, this guitar is Lucille, Jr. and I am BB King’s bastard son. Word.

Your truly,

And for the rest of you:
Click here to download If I Was Sober (I’d Go Get Drunk) and feel free to write me about it! I care!